Many parents and carers are concerned about their children being exposed to toxic masculinity—whether online, at school, or among peers. To help families better understand the issue, one of our counsellors shares insights on what toxic masculinity looks like, the risks for boys, and how parents can promote healthier models of masculinity at home.
What is ‘toxic masculinity’?
Toxic masculinity refers to harmful beliefs about what it means to ‘be a man’, often linked to aggression, dominance, emotional suppression, or disrespect towards others. Boys and young males today may struggle with identity, unrealistic expectations, and mixed messages about masculinity in the modern age.
How can it shows up in children and families?
Toxic masculinity can appear as:
- Bullying (in person or online)
- Peer pressure and coercion
- Beliefs such as “boys don’t cry” or “real men don’t show feelings”
Influences from social media and public figures can reinforce these attitudes, making it harder for boys to feel safe expressing themselves.
Risks for boys exposed to toxic masculinity
Boys who learn to hide emotions or see vulnerability as weakness may struggle with:
- Emotional regulation
- Healthy relationships
- Asking for help when needed
This “bottling up” of emotions can lead to long-term difficulties as pressures in life increase.
How parents may reinforce harmful gender norms
Parents and carers may unintentionally reinforce toxic ideas by saying phrases like:
- “Man up”
- “Boys don’t cry”
- “Dad doesn’t talk about feelings”
These sorts of messages can teach boys to stay silent rather than seek support. Instead, you can model openness and acknowledge emotions without shame.
What does ‘positive masculinity’ look like?
Positive masculinity encourages boys to express emotions, show compassion, and build respectful relationships. In a family setting this can include:
- Open communication and vulnerability
- Modelling self-care and healthy coping
- Encouraging curiosity and reflection about values and behaviours
Practical strategies for parents
Parents and carers can support positive masculinity by:
- Showing emotional flexibility (demonstrating affection and empathy)
- Seeking curiosity and education (podcasts, books, workshops)
- Practising critical reflection (reconsidering family norms, setting healthy boundaries, modelling respectful communication)
Conversations about masculinity can also happen naturally during activities—like at the dinner table, on a walk, or while playing sport or games. These safe, everyday moments can help boys open up.
How our Parent Line service can help
Our parenting counselling service in NSW works alongside families to:
- Build stronger parent-child relationships
- Challenge harmful gender norms
- Promote resilience and emotional wellbeing in children
We take a collaborative, person-centred approach, offering research-informed strategies and practical tools to help parents and carers navigate modern challenges such as toxic masculinity.
If you are concerned about your child’s exposure to toxic masculinity or want support in promoting positive masculinity, our counsellors are here to help.
Call Parent Line NSW on 1300 1300 52. We’re open 7 days a week (except public holidays), ready to support you.
